Quotes 3101 to 3200

Quote 3101

<Alcar> D&D is like monopoly except boardwalk is really a castle, park place a forest, and jail = a dungeon. Also, you only pass go a second time with magical aid.
<Sintaqx> and there are more than 2 dice
<Sintaqx> and you are required to use *gasp* creativity and *another gasp* imagination
<Alcar> you are in monopoly too! At least, in determining how much money to flitch from the bank :p
<Sintaqx> I'll start a fire on Park Place, send my car-bomb to go-to-jail, a hit squad to the community chest and use the diversion to snag all the 500's from the bank

Quote 3102

<Danric> "I saw where we were headed. Rei did us a favor by sending you all to the Winterlands, since it bought us time. I've been working to get you all accepted when you finally returned, and it's finally paid off. Weres are, basically, equal now. And unfeared. It took a lot of work, but we're our own people again."
<Simon```> "Oh. So I supposse everyone loves us and we have our own TV shows and humans don't fear us?" almost sarcastically
<Danric> "It's better than it used to be. We can all live together now, at least."
<Danric> "And trust me, never give a mockingbird his own game show. Talk about bad publicity."

Quote 3103

<Faline`> "Salem, dearr, as much as I apprreciate any help I can get... I'd rreally prreferr if you didn't help."
* Salem_ looks at her, with stone cold eyes " i am sorry dear. .you has just as much choice as i do.. none at all.
* Faline` sighs and seems to have that familiar old migraine coming on :)
<Salem_> can't fight the fates.., they have a mean left hook
* Faline` mutters something about termites and spinning wheels :)

Quote 3104

<Salem_> all of us.. has something tied together.., like it or not...
* Salem_ reaches up and slits the fabric of reality, you can hear it scream in your minds.. and steps into the wound.. " untill paths cross again.. i am watching" and she is gone..
<Simon```> Janet: "Wow."
* Faline` sighs in releif
<Simon```> Janet: "Is she your guardian angel?"
<Faline`> "I surre hope not."

Quote 3105

<AlcarDM> Senton it turns out, has arrived at the village/city. he has no idea where he's been before then but his hind end is sore and he has a strange mark branded on his left hind leg. Oh, yes, and a fear of bright lights in the sky.
<SeNToN> (( i don;t even really want to know ))
<Rene`-> (( AHH! NOO! THEY'RE BACK! oh, wait... just the sun. ))

Quote 3106

<durgan> "Um, truth to tell, but don't let this out, please! The love potion is for me!"
<durgan> "Oh, what do you need?"
<Mors`^> "Oh.. well.. Then let's start.. go find me... some Aloe, a mint leaf, a lemon, and an orange.. I also need one unopened coaconut."
<durgan> "That's all?"
<Mors`^> "No, that's your first trip.."
<Mors`^> "I think you should go for the ingredients before you forget."
<durgan> "I suppose I'll just buy her some flowers or soemthing."
<Mors`^> dammit, I was going to make a pina-colada
<durgan> bastard =P

Quote 3107

<Keith`> of corse then you have to deal with the dark task of killing the host body for the soul every oh 100 years or so, but if your a god thats masterred time your immortal any way (or can be with enought exp spent on the right magic item)

Quote 3108

<Kimmey> <<He is still walking away, unarmed.>>
<RavenDarkmoore> ((unarmed hell hes a wizzard))

Quote 3109

<Ike> "Can I be a titan?" "No. They're too big and far too powerful." "Well can I be a half-titan?" "Yeah, but you have to be half-roach as well."

Quote 3110

<StarShade> What's wrong with dropping Bubonic Plague onto Faerun?

Quote 3111

<Dalener> "you open the door, my prize NPC stands there" *heated battle, your character wins fair and square* "No, that can't be, he comes back and kills you!"

Quote 3112

* mattjohnson sees that the people who fainted are attended to, and then addresses the room. ((why not? =P))
<AlcarDM> Many of the people begin leaving quickly, heading out into the city to kill Artimus - if it is him - and collect the reward.
<AlcarDM> Ahout 3/4 of the crowd is still in here, making plans or just gossipping.
* mattjohnson ahems
<mattjohnson> "If any of you see those who just left, you might want to tell them not to be so eager about this."
<Kandi`^> (( Oh! use enthrall and convince them dragons live in the world.. that alwase goes over well... ))

Quote 3113

* mattjohnson gives the number
<AlcarDM> A few people write it down. Most of the NPCs depart, headed off to certain doom :p
<mattjohnson> "Should you decide to do this on your own *shrugs* well, you'll be on your own =P"
<Sin{Away}> ((Isn't it amazing that nobody can tell you exactly where certain doom lies, but you can get there anyway? Maybe that is why men figure they don't need to ask directions :) )

Quote 3114

<AlcarDM> The DM is shocked ..the players are actually running away from a threat ....
* AlcarDM didn't count on that :p
<Alexander```> (( well, come on now, i'm playing a char who is 170 years old and has a 16 int! ))
<mattjohnson> ((we aren't running away, we're erm, letting those better qualified than us handle the problem))
<mattjohnson> ((besides, if all of the 80 billion people the master vampire has enlisted recently can't handle artimus, I don't think we can either =P))
<Alexander```> (( *I'm* running away ))

Quote 3115

<AlcarDM> Valentine: "Well, there is one creature that could kill even Artimus...."
<mattjohnson> "Oh?"
<AlcarDM> Valentine: "Doesn't matter, he can't be hired. Not after the dragon incident."
<Kandi`^> (( aww damn.. who is it? ;))
<Kandi`^> (( Oh! Zorro! ))
<Kandi`^> (( ask about the dragon incident.. ask ask!! ))
<mattjohnson> "The dragon incident?"
<mattjohnson> ((fine =P))
<AlcarDM> Valentine: "Well, there are no more dragons, for the most part. He's the reason."
<Kandi`^> (( Uh-oh... ))
<Kandi`^> (( Don't do it! I know who it is! ))

Quote 3116

<Nicolai```> ((now then, what are we running from?))
<Alexander```> (( artimus ))
<Alexander```> (( bet you never thought you'd hear that, eh? ;b ))
<Nicolai```> ((In that case, as my new power i'm buying dashing good looks, witty reparte, and a lot of guns :))

Quote 3117

<Kandi`^> I have 5600 exp to spend, and no more powers to spend them on.. any suggestions?
<AlcarDM> life insurance? :)
<Kandi`^> what comes with it? ;)
<AlcarDM> protection from Sparkie? :p
<Kandi`^> Does it have an umbrella policy?
<AlcarDM> yup. Comws with a neat glass to put it in too.

Quote 3118

<Nicolai```> "You know, next time I decide to buy a restaurant, and you know the previous owner, you must remember to tell me he is a psychopath.

Quote 3119

<Kandi`^> (( ever notice how the npc's are the only ones who know everything? ))
<AlcarDM> (( Says who? Simon knows squat! ;p ))
<Alexander```> (( I do too... ))
<AlcarDM> (( Besides, its cause the DM makes it all up on the spot. So there! ))
<Alexander```> (( oh, you meant in the game ))

Quote 3120

<Nicolai```> "Oh, vampires are a strange lot. Their abilities range from being able to form to shadows to being highly resistant to damage to taking the shape of animals. Our main weaknesses are our hearts, like any other being, and fire, as well as silver. Most of them are fast, strong, and pretty sly with their tongues. Hundreds of years of practice'll do that."
<AlcarDM> Simon: "That long? Wow ... it must get boring.."
<Nicolai```> "Immortality is an interesting thing, but vampires find a way to pass the time."
<Alexander```> (( besides, people only live for 70 years, and yet many of them still find time to play golf ))
<Kandi`^> (( They're like elves.. but worse.. they have forever.. Why, if you ask the oldest vampire in the world, his sex life, he'll tell you he's seen it all, and he started the 60's ))

Quote 3121

* Dieter`` hops between the dragon and querdie.
<Dieter``> "I may not be strong, but I will still guard my friend with my life!"
<Dieter``> "Back!"
<Querdie> Stop that this instant!
<Chaos`^> The snake stops and looks at Querdie funny
<Querdie> DO NOT INVOKE THE WRATH OF QUERDIE, INSOLENT DOG! OR SNAKE! AS THE CASE MAY BE! ALTHOUGH YOU MAY REALLY BE A DOG AND JUST LOOK LIKE A SNAKE
<Querdie> OR BE A WAND THAT LOOKS LIKE A SNAKE OR MAYBE A WAND THAT IS REALLY A SNAKE BUT LOOKS LIKE A DOG
<Dieter``> "Or your wand of fireball"
<Querdie> But that is irrelevant!
<Querdie> IRRELEVANT I SAY!

Quote 3122

* Dieter`` is a beautiful looking not-amazonian princess because she has 9 str and that's just not very amazonian.
<Querdie> (( 19 charisma tho! ))

Quote 3123

<Gabriel``> "Well then, I apologize for not seeing the situation in its full light."
<Ashi> "Should have seen it earlier .. " to herself. She shakes her head, looking annoyed
<Ashi> The emperor nods, once.
<Ashi> He seems unsure what to say.
<Gabriel``> "So then, how do we get you off the throne, and replace you with something that works? Therein lies the problem."
<Ashi> the ninja blinks at that
<Ashi> The emperor looks a trifle stunned "I beg your pardon?"

Quote 3124

* Kantizuni looks at rp sites on the web
<Kantizuni> Woah!
<Kantizuni> A minitures-based RPG tabletop warfare game using Lego.

Quote 3125

<Gabriel``> can i change patterns?
<Ashi> you can - but your family would definitely notice
<Gabriel``> hmm... notice or not, could i theoretically redraw them enough to make everyones' part of the pattern equal? so that the town survives simply because the people live here?
<Gabriel``> that way, the ruling body could be anything from a king to a council of elders to barney the purple dinosaur? :)
<Ashi> Yup. Until the ppl asserted themselves into a natural hierarchy :)
<Gabriel``> but once they did that, the pattern would go back to normal, right?
<Ashi> it'd last until some noble- or gopup of them - broke that you did
<Gabriel``> but, by equalizing everyone, the city would be able to thrive still, until the people decided what they wanted, right?
* Gabriel`` would take over the town, but doesn't have time to :)

Quote 3126

<Caltak> if the dm makes a character munchy, said dm can still get rid of said character
<Chaos`^> not just because it's munchy, that's just predjudice
<Caltak> no, thats the dm exercising his power to do what the hell he wants :)
<Chaos`^> He'll lose players that way
<Caltak> he hasn't yet

Quote 3127

<Kandi`^> "I just wanted to ask you a few questions..."
<AlcarDM> *There is no insult. It has been many seasons since a guardian came, and that place never had one, or a child. Strange days.* There is a long pause. *How many?*
* Kandi`^ thinks "Well, I have four that come to mind, but it really depends on your answers.. That is under the assumtion there is no charge to ask you a few friendly questions..."
<Rei_Jr> (( "Are you happy with your current long distance service?" ))
<`Xaz> ((are you interested in losing weight?))

Quote 3128

<Kandi`^> "How do you feel?"
<AlcarDM> *Pardon?*
<`Xaz> ((are you asking nessie about her emotional state?))
<Rei_Jr> (( "a little gassy, actually. All the scottish food. *burp*" ))
<AlcarDM> (( "Are you available Sunday night? I need a date.." ))
<Kandi`^> "I asked how you were... You know, your emotional state, the way you feel.."
<`Xaz> (( "well first electrical impulses travel down my nerves to my brain...." ))
<Rei_Jr> (( "Look, we brought a friend!" *out walks Barney* ))
<Rei_Jr> (( "Can we see you? If so, would you be adverse to us taking snapshots?" :P ))

Quote 3129

<Rei_Sr> "Some questions are better left unasked son"
* `Xaz walks over to Rei jr "does this kind of stuff always happen around you guys?"
* Rei_Jr seems like he doesnt like that answer, but lets it drop.
<Rei_Sr> "You don't even know the half of it."
<`Xaz> "cool!
<Rei_Jr> *to Xaz* "Well one time the cars tried to eat us and there were dancing dogs."
* `Xaz goes crosseyed trying to picture it

Quote 3130

<AlcarDM> (( My players are trying to convince something that is basically the appocalypse incarnate to get a hobby.... why me? ))
<Rei_Jr> (( because :P ))
<Kandi`^> (( Que sera, sera, you just have to accept it... ))
<Rei_Sr> LOL could be worse
<Rei_Sr> could be kimmey trying to sneak attack a god to death

Quote 3131

<Kandi`^> Why is he so mean to us?
<AlcarDM> Sparkie?
<Kandi`^> no, nessie =p
<Kandi`^> she rather =p
<Rei_Jr> hmm.. maybe it's that time of the month :P
<AlcarDM> probably because she just heard you think she was male and is really pro womans lib and is insulted
<Kandi`^> I mistyped =p
* Rei_Jr sends her flowers :P

Quote 3132

<Kandi`^> "A pawn is a very powerful piece, reguardless of it's starting power... Besides, it takes teamwork to get a mate."
<AlcarDM> (( *You want to marry me?!* ))
<AlcarDM> No reply.
* Kandi`^ thinks
<Kandi`^> "Are you there?"
<AlcarDM> *I do not leave.*
<Kandi`^> "Everyone needs... companionship.."
<Kandi`^> (( Kandi is a female remember =p ))
<AlcarDM> (( *It's the new millenium. I can find a deity to bless our union.* ))

Quote 3133

<Kandi`^> "Then let's go watch a movie.. You might find it entertaining..."
<AlcarDM> *A ... movie?*
<Kandi`^> "Yeah.. You've never seen one?"
<Rei_Jr> (( ooooo there we go, shes interested :) ))
<Rei_Jr> (( "Let's see Godzilla 2000! er wait.. no.. lesse..." :P ))
<AlcarDM> (( she just killed 1/4 of the population of scotland. ))
<AlcarDM> (( and you want her interested in something? ))
<Rei_Jr> (( we don't give up easily Alcar :P ))

Quote 3134

<Kandi`^> "Let's go to a coffee shop, and play some chess... What do you say?]
<AlcarDM> *I do not play.*
<Kandi`^> "It's funny.. the man who made the game was executed because he made the queen the most powerful piece.."
<Rei_Jr> (( we should start having picnics and parties by the loch until she warms up to us a bit :P ))
<`Xaz> (( dont forget asking her to bring the ice cubes ))
<Rei_Jr> (( we should buy her nice presents and send em out on little rafts :) ))
<`Xaz> (( we should make the lake 150 proof ))

Quote 3135

<Kandi`^> "Hi.. I'm trying to get her to come back to the states with us... I think she'll enjoy a vacation.."
<Rei_Jr> "Yeah, thats a great idea, a vacation might be good."
<`Xaz> "maybe she can do summer in texas... and rent herself as ac"
<Kandi`^> "yeah, You're welcome to come... Infact, I think we'd rather enjoy it.."
<Rei_Sr> "Give it up, we've got more pressing matters to attended to"
<Kandi`^> "What could be more pressing than this? SHe's what? A billion years old, and she hasn't left the lake for atleast a few thousand... That's depressing, to even me.."
<Rei_Sr> "Try a cuple of nucular bombs dropped on Trail"

Quote 3136

* Kandi`^ pulls out her shades and tosses them in the lake "Keep them, they'll give you luck."
<AlcarDM> (( The DM beats his head against his desk. "Why me?" ))
<Rei_Jr> (( Cmon alcar, why cant we befriend the Appocalypse? You never like any of our friends! *sob* :P ))

Quote 3137

<AlcarDM> Matt: "Nukes?"
<&lt;Rei_Jr> "Whats?"
<Kandi`^> "Nuclear weapons.. You'll learn more about them when you become president.. They are probably one of the causes of our future apocolypse.."
<`Xaz> "ugh... nuclear stuff sucks... my aunt chery still glows in the dark"

Quote 3138

<TexDKnght> Looks like Cal just isn't going to be up to playing tonight, so, what do we do?
<Kimmey> Do we go with out him? or just accept the dm fiat on it, and move on?
<MechaBlue> Begin a rampage of violence and terror that requires three swat teams and a division of the national guard to quell?
<Kimmey> Meccha, that's not the right way to do it.
<Kimmey> the proper way is to set up a serries of different crimes that don't appear to be linked in any way, then after estabolishing a large enough file, send it in to provea point that no one is safe anywhere.

Quote 3139

<TexDKnght> 2d4
<Sparkie> TexDKnght 2d4: 5
<TexDKnght> No so good, Spark, old fellow.
<Sparkie> Its better than average, ok!
* Sparkie doens't have to put up with this you know. I sit here and roll and roll and you're never satisifed!
<Sparkie> NONE OF YOU ARE!
* Sparkie sobs
* Sparkie ends it all
<Sparkie> /unload -r warnerdice.ini

Quote 3140

* ** Ike has joined #game1
<Simon```> The taxi heads towards the city, and a hotel, unless stopped'
<Ike> (( It's a fucking miracle.. You aren't playing LoLaD. ))
<Danric> ((funny you should say that, cuz we are ;))
* Danric isn't stopping it yet. Just following it with one raven.
<Ike> (( Urhm. You are? What the hell? New PCs or something? ))
<Ike> (( So did you change the LoLaD day to 'any time Alcar is on and we aren't playing a different game'? ))

Quote 3141

<Alcar> :: Everything dies. ::
<Kandi`^> (( is that a universal phrase among the omniscient? ))
<Salem_> :: not the first time ::

Quote 3142

<Ike> (( If I ever get into this campaign my PC is going to destroy the world.. Just so you people stop playing it. ))
<Danric> (i think that's probably the smartest idea anyone's ever had for this game ;)

Quote 3143

<Simon```> You know, of all the PCs to end LOLAD via appocalypse, I wouldn't have suspected Danric until now :)
<Simon```> He came close.
<Simon```> The world now has 3 years left :p
<Danric> as if that was my fault!
<Danric> and besides, i'll find a loophole :)

Quote 3144

<Simon```> The end of the world will be preceded by the axe-age and the sword-age. Weapons will be wielded and destroyed *you have an image of your fight with Simon in startling clarity*; following it is a wind-age and a wolf-age. Winter will take its toll for three consecutive years without the summer interfering to bring its people mercy
<Simon```> Father and son will engage in battle against one another. Siblings will partake in incestuous acts. Mothers will abandon their husbands and seduce their own sons; while brothers rip at each others' hearts. The starry heavens will fall, the earth will tremble; mountains and trees will crumble to the ground. Monsters will break free from the fetters that bind them; and the wild hunt will begin.
<Kandi`^> Wait a sec... How is this differant than the world as I know it?
<Simon```> The 9 worlds will become a blazing inferno and the gods die as the inhabitants of all the realms that lie beneath the Tree and Sun. The sky will fall into a pit of flame and the earth will sink into the sea. This is how it all has ended; and this is how the world begins.
<Kandi`^> And do I survive this?

Quote 3145

<Alcar> hmm, I dont think the ppl in ad&d_gaming like my idea to have the heart of gold enter a star wars game
* Alcar would like to see the death star become fruit cake, darn it!
<Alcar> another reason for me to never run star wars....
<Xaz`> one word... heat metal
<Xaz`> thats one word if i say it like this "heatmetal"

Quote 3146

<*** Sparkie Quit (Quit: &lt;Danri> "Everyone is a pawn. Some just think they can always move two squares all the time...")
<Alcar> even the quit is from lolad...maybe Ike was right? :)
<Baliadoc> yay random Dan quote!

Quote 3147

<Ike> LoLaD sucks, ok? I HATE IT! RAWR!
<Ike> I WILL DESTROY THE DAMN WORLD!
<Alcar> Too late, Ike. Its ending in 3 years due to one PC last night :p
<Ike> Wait.. I didn't inspire you, did I?
<Caltak> nope, one PC is just really stupid
<Alcar> he asked 4 questions instead of 3 and brought about the twilight of the gods, and all that.
<Caltak> he's such a moron
<Alcar> nah, it was well rped :)
<Caltak> no I mena the PC is the moron, not the player. He's just good at RPing a moron.

Quote 3148

<Ike> Wait.. Because he failed the Loch Ness Monster's pop quiz the entire world is going to die in 3 years?
<Alcar> Yup.
<Ike> Well.. Great. That only leaves.. What? 30 years left for you to play LoLaD..

Quote 3149

<Ike> I want to play LoLaD..
<Ike> And I want a giant offshore oilrig.. And lots of nuclear bombs.
<Ike> And that's it.
<Ike> I'll be a human commoner level 1 with all 10s for all I care.
<Ike> I just want to end that planet's life.

Quote 3150

<Xaz`> in alcars game if u wanna end the world all you have to do is taunt nessie in the correct fashion
<Xaz`> or we could go wake the world serpent
<Alcar> nessie IS the world serpent.
* Caltak erases the number next to "Population" on the "Welcome to the Winterland" sign and writes "Everyone"
<Xaz`> then we already screwed
<Xaz`> its supposed to be asleep

Quote 3151

<Dalener> have his character get raped by a gelatinous cube
<Dalener> in his ear canal

Quote 3152

* MattJohnson has a brilliant stroke of genius!!
<AlcarDM> How much damage does having a stroke do? :)
<MattJohnson> AlcarDM: people don't have stroke in d&d, it was a figure of speech :)
<AlcarDM> They should. It would be awesome to do to a munchkin :p
<MattJohnson> all old people are wise, intelligent, and certainly not subject to things like memory loss or strokes.

Quote 3153

<AlcarDM> As you get closer you can smell fresh blood. The scent of death hangs in the air, as does the smell of Faline.
* Rei_Sr picks Jr up and heads into the house stoping at the door knocking and yelling "Faline, we have come to save you."
* Rei_Sr opens the door slowly "Faline, where are you?"
<AlcarDM> Faline: "From what?" You enter and she's standing at the top of the stairs, absently gnawing on someones arm.
<Rei_Sr> "Faline put the arm down, God i haven't said that in years..."
* Rei_Jr looks shocked, then confused. "...Mommy?"

Quote 3154

<Nicolai```> "Same way with me, but I can't make myself change, and I can't stop it once it's happened."
<Simon2> "Oh, that sucks....."
<Nicolai```> "I'm starting to learn to live with it. It just makes things difficult for a while."
<Simon2> "Oh. I'm sorry..."
<Simon2> (( *turns hands into claws* "Here, let me make it better" *Rips Nicolai's head off.* ))

Quote 3155

* Dungeon_Master_M logs onto IRC... "Oh, i've seen this episode..." then proceads in changing the channel.

Quote 3156

<Darkkin> After afew mins it lands you hear it touch down and open the hatch
* Isys_Turigos waits until everyone is out and has been gone for a while... or until she can't stand the cargo hold any longer
<Darkkin> You hear people walking around getting up soon after you here "Whats this..were here to talk..nO!"
<Darkkin> Then laughter and gun fire
* Isys_Turigos decides to stay put a bit longer

Quote 3157

<Darkkin> You two arrive to see a broken scanner on the floor were she was
* Aleric` swears again and picks it up, then calls out "Isys?!"
<Darkkin> A scream can be heard down the tunnel
* Aleric` runs towards it, those stupid hormones acting up.

Quote 3158

* Aleric` is still busy swearing inventively. He's now started on various animal anatomies
<Darkkin> "Welcome to the Union of Sol"
* Isys` elbows Aleric
* Zantos` does his best to keep his tounge in his head and walks up bowing deeply
<Isys`> "Enoug about elven mating rituals..."
* Aleric` gives Isys an odd look, then shuts up.

Quote 3159

<Isys`> "I trust her about as far as I can throw her."
<Zantos`> "Consevably thats pritty fair assuming you shut off there artifishal gravity feald"
* Isys` closes her eyes and counts to a sufficiently high number
* Isys` opens her eyes

Quote 3160

<Isys`> "Any objections to playing along with them and conducting your own investigations?"
* Zantos` eyes the room/building
* Aleric` listens to the voice in his head. If it doesn't say anything, he nods. "Works for me."
<Zantos`> "You know there probubly watching us."
<Isys`> "I know."
<Darkkin> The bowl of fruit zooms in on Zantos

Quote 3161

* Tarrasque goes over to joe, trying to look impressive. "I am seeing evil to slay in the name of good and honest folk everywhere!" *looks at joe for a long moment.* "Are you evil?"
<Joe> "You're seeing evil? I've never quite thought of myself as evil..."
<Joe> "Uhm... sorry, sir?"
<Joe> (sorry, had to run with the typo :))
* Tarrasque stops, frowns, and reaches into his pack, pulling out a small, rather worn book. He flips through it, then reads something slowly, using his finger and moving his lips. After a few moments, he nods slowly and leaves. He comes back in and goes over to Joe
<Tarrasque> "I am seeking evil to slay in the name of good and honest folk everywhere! Are you evil?"

Quote 3162

* Tarrasque has drawn his shiny new sword of justice - the other one having been repossessed by creditors working for the Evil One - and looks around, trying to find that source of evil
<unnamed-bard> mostly a farmers market kinda thing
* Joe is tagging along after the funny screaming guy, wondering what's so evil
<Sparkie> Tarrasque d20-3: 6 spot check
* Tarrasque sighs and puts his sword away. "Hidden again." He scowls. "Evil lurks in the hearts of men."
* Tarrasque looks at Joe "Oh, was your family evil?"
<Joe> "Mine? Of course not, sir! We tended the land dutifully for our lord!"

Quote 3163

<Joe> "Now that's true. I pray they are in a better place than this bitter world."
<Tarrasque> "Of course there is!"
* Joe nods, looking a bit reassured
<Joe> "Thank you for believing, sir!"
<Tarrasque> "The sun may shine also on the wicked, but it is THEY who will die in screaming agony as the demons shove the spikes of evil in their ears and up their nose and their ... " sees the bard. "Well, I won't continue with ladies present."
<Tarrasque> « Can someone kill my pc and put me out of the horror of playing him? :) »

Quote 3164

<unnamed-bard> you cleave the cat in two
<Joe> (my gods....)
* Tarrasque swings his blade into the evil creature "The flower beds of the word are saved!"
* Tarrasque kicks the body, for good measure, then cleans his sword off, wipes off his blood and leaves, proud at having made the world a better place
<unnamed-bard> some old woman walks past the end of the aliie intime to see this
<unnamed-bard> the old womman stops tarra "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO FLUFFY!"
<Tarrasque> "*I* have saved a flowerbed from this evil menace to society!" *detects her for evil*
<unnamed-bard> your getting alot of evil if you count going to spank you with in an inch of your live evil
<Tarrasque> Hmm..... Yup.

Quote 3165

* Tarrasque places his sword between him and her "Avaunt, foul crone!"
<Joe> "Hey! Stoppit! You can't attack an old lady!"
* Joe gets between the old lady and Tarrasque, looking a bit unsure of what the hell he's doing
<Tarrasque> "She is daring to attack me - me! - for defending these people from evil?!" *Face turns an interesting shade of purple* "Stand aside honest man, I would have words with her."
<unnamed-bard> woman: "THAT BRAT KILLED MY FLUFFY"

Quote 3166

<Tarrasque> "No cat that attacks a champion of justice is good! I have the scars to prove it..." pauses, then asays "It was looking at the flower bed maliciously! It KNEW the evil it was about to embark on!"
<Joe> "You mean it didn't even dig up a flower bed? Sir, are you alright? In your head, I mean. I mean no disrespect, but I'm worried about you."
<Joe> "I have a cousin like that. Doesn't know right from wrong, stuff like that."
<Tarrasque> "How can someone not knnow right from wrong?" *looks shocked*
<Tarrasque> "Knowing right is a gift from the bountiful gods!"
<Tarrasque> "And I know the cat was going to destroy that flower bed! I felt the evil in it!"

Quote 3167

<unnamed-bard> in this more ironic twist of fate the bard whips out healers kit
<Sparkie> unnamed-bard 1d20+5: 16
<unnamed-bard> and the insain pallidan is saved
<Tarrasque> « blast! »
<Tarrasque> « oh, wait, good ... »
<Joe> ((poor alcar))

Quote 3168

* ** Tarrasque is now known as Alosa
<Alosa> And now, for somethinng comppletely sane!
<Alosa> A young girl arrives in the inn, and looks around, frowning.
* Alosa is a young, 13 year old girl currently wearing a red dress with a red hood and has a small basket at her side. She also is wearing a nice wolf fur cloak over that and a cheap crystal hangs around her neck.
<Joe> (my lord!)
<Alosa> « grown up :p »
<Joe> (normal my ass!)

Quote 3169

<unnamed-bard> you know i'm going to kill this one with the first ravid dog that comes along don't you?
<Alosa> lol
<Alosa> she's sane tho :)
* unnamed-bard idely wounders how many its going to take befor alcar gets a normal pc
<Alosa> oh, she's normal. The description was just a joke.
<unnamed-bard> oh ok then stick up a real one :)

Quote 3170

* Alosa looks like someone else, thanks the the DM....
* Alosa is a a youing, 13 year old girl wearing a nice, normal pink dress with some cheap gold earings, a crystal around her neck and a rather battered hat that might have once been a pointy hat a long, long time ago.
<Alosa> « better? »
<unnamed-bard> (much)
<Joe> (not as frighteningly non normal, at least :)
<Alosa> « new age crystal loving witch :) »
<unnamed-bard> (Still better)

Quote 3171

* Alosa goes over and knocks on the door. "Granny?"
<lorin`-`> you hear sobbing from inside then the woman comes to the door opening it and holding out her arms to her grandchild hiding the tears rather well
<Blake_Slithern> ((damn wheres my spell to make the girl look like the paladin >:)

Quote 3172

<Blake_Slithern> "Weres fluffy?
<Blake_Slithern> "I'm sure the mage can help"
<lorin`-`> (which half?)

Quote 3173

<Alosa> "You .. you can help fluffy?" Looks up at Blake hopefully and sniffs, wiping her eyes on her dress
* Blake_Slithern nods
<lorin`-`> ok, while joe goes and gets the cat you all head to max's tower, and find a note on the door, "went to a friends in the woods be back, for all dead pet magical needs see the druid in the northern forest"
<Blake_Slithern> "Ah...em.."
<Blake_Slithern> "Well i guess we head to the forest"

Quote 3174

<lorin`-`> due to the time on the DM's clock all of the pc's are hit in the head with something that does 0hp dammage but knocks them out cold untill the next sesstion of Cannon Fodder
<Joe> "Hey, this looks like a pleasing spot in the road to caa..." *clonk, zonk, down*
<Alosa> "No! It's raining that dog that used to torment fluffy!"
<lorin`-`> you think it was bird poop but your not sure :)

Quote 3175

* Darkkin has had fun with shipwrecked games
<Darkkin> Ever make a bow string out of Elven gut?
<Darkkin> makes a good Elven bow

Quote 3176

<As`ua> Alcar>> is it wrong to kill the entire party twice (once, then ressurect them, and kill them again)?

Quote 3177

<Kain`-`> you end up spending a night in the woods you find a secluded grove which feels like no monsters ever set foot in it
<Blake`> oo
<Blake`> a save spot
* Blake` opens the menu and goes to save under slot 1

Quote 3178

<Keith`> the godds falls back looking pissed at actwaling being struke and rather hurt from the sword as well
<Keith`> "so be it"
<Alcar> « "Kill them all and let the gods sort it out! Oh, wait, I am a god. Wow, this is going to be easy!" »
<Keith`> she floats back into the darkness and as the gets further and further back the darkness becomes a red glowing haze

Quote 3179

* Drifter` goes back to her claws and hopes the goddess is weakening...

Quote 3180

<Warner> hell ive played in games where it was posable to kill the DM. you had to take over as DM after you did though :)

Quote 3181

<Alcar> you replace the DM, the DM gets your pc....
<Warner> kill death you have to take over the job :)
<Alcar> that would be fun!
<Alcar> The DM dies at your first hit since he has no AC or HP. Never needed them until you breeched his citadel of terror by bribing the dice bot familar
<Warner> hehe dice bot familar :)]
<Warner> only you would assume the DM lives in a citadel of terror :)
<Alcar> it IS one. Do you know the crime rate around here?! :p
* Warner still thinks of the DM as that little bald guy from the ad&d cartoon :)

Quote 3182

* Alcar is leaving before this gets worse. Allowing a pcs to kill the DM will be part of the ww game tho :)
<Warner> Gaehalee does NOT want the job
<Warner> death maybe but not DM
<Alcar> PC: "I want to level up?" Gel: "What can you sell me?"
<Warner> hehe its suprizing how much fun D&D can be as long as you find something atypical to obsease on
<Alcar> You get no experience because your new dm invested all your experience to be in a stock that crashed. You know that orc building you burned? Well, it was the head of Orcish Investments.
<Alcar> In fact, you all lose experience.

Quote 3183

<Alcar> you know, I should run a mini game where the pcs are all high level spellcasters and give them a nation to test this stuff out ...
<Alcar> level 15 or something
<Baliadoc> that'd be just fun. they could all play various departments of the ministry :)
<Alcar> Adventurers who defeated <Evil Ruler> Who ruled <Evil Empire> and now have to keep <small kingdom thats left of Empire> afloat since while it WAS evil, they've just ushered in the next dark ages :)
* Baliadoc would play the Minister of Agriculture
<Baliadoc> "I think we're producing too much food. In order to keep our exports from falling in price, I think it's time for a plague of locusts."
<Alcar> The bards have begin calling your new king Dubya. For some reason, you take this as a really bad sign..

Quote 3184

<Baliadoc> hey, our king could be a half-orc conqueror who fancies himself a lich king!
<Alcar> lich king ..
<Alcar> "No! Don't shake hands! Oh, gods, he just tried to kiss a baby .. "
<Alcar> The mob disperses whenever the king arrives :)
<Alcar> gotta love lich fear effect
<Baliadoc> it'd be fun for whoever decided to be PR ;)
<Alcar> Guard: "Wow, how are you going to smooth THIS one over?" PR PC: "Oh, easy" *shoots himself*
<Alcar> King: "Coward! Someone raise him from the dead!"

Quote 3185

<Alcar> Of course, the vizier woudln't have a faction. That would be too obvious. He's just run the department of bureaucracy and the treasury :P
<Baliadoc> oh, totally
<aslhk> Alcar: what about the media? +P
<Alcar> Thats the bards. You pay then to play stuff you like with money from the treasury :)
<Baliadoc> exactly. they write epic songs about your exploits and your supreme excellence

Quote 3186

<WarezBert> "yes, our troops follow the genocidal bidding of our merciful god"

Quote 3187

<Alcar> people are free to make munchkins, but a high int is almost mandatory. A munchkin dealing with politics would be a horrible sight
<Baliadoc> yes, definitely
<aslhk> that would be funny
<aslhk> a low int, wis, and cha char
<aslhk> on second thought, it reminds me of my president

Quote 3188

<Dungeon_Master_M> How about a Dragon PC, that who is exchange for leaving the Kingdom alone wants Exotic and Rare stamps for his Collection...
<WarezBert> and his idea of stamps
<WarezBert> is flattened people from strange places
<Alcar> "Well, I began with butterflys and moved up from there.." *dragon pc proudly displays his wall of exotic titans*
<Dungeon_Master_M> I Collect Portrats of people... typically this is the Person crushed between 2 plates of glass
<WarezBert> "please step this way" "but thats a printing press" "well, yes... u did hear that i mentioned a minor charge for admission? ill give you a nice view from your position on the wall"

Quote 3189

<Dungeon_Master_M> Eliminster Vs. The Borg

Quote 3190

* Alcar should make a dungeon .. so small the pcs get lost trying to find it
<Alcar> it would be a fun camaign :)
<Baliadoc> "Guys, we've been around this damn rock 12 times. There's no maze here!"
<Alcar> Small Voice: "Thats because you've got your left toe in it!"
<Alcar> PC: "You mean I destroyed the dungeon?"
<Alcar> PC digs out his dmg "How much exp?""
<Baliadoc> DM: "Hmm... I don't think I shoulda put those 3 dragons in there...."
<Baliadoc> "Uhm... you die of xp flooding?"

Quote 3191

<Dungeon_Master_M> I still think a Dragon Barbarian would make a good PC... "Pull my Finger!"
<Dungeon_Master_M> *Boom*

Quote 3192

<aslhk> I'd make plots which didn't involve the use of love potions, but they're so much fun!

Quote 3193

* Sin{Away} thinks it would be fun to get a group of experienced players together, and find a quick little adventure for 4 characters level 4 - 6..... the twist being the 4 that will be playing it will be level 1 :)
<Alcar> That would be fun :)
<Sin{Away}> Then send the logs of the game back to the author :)
<Sin{Away}> along with the character sheets
<Sin{Away}> you have to use someone elses adventure module though, not one of your own... otherwise it wouldn't be as amusing

Quote 3194

* Alcar expects it will be a fairly high power game. Then again, you'll need it :)
<Alcar> If I get truly bored a tarrasque could come sight seeing. :P
<Jeramias> We'll make sure that you don't get bored ;)
<Alcar> You see an enormous green behemoth on the horizon, with people screaming in terror. The black holes were its eyes are vanish magically as it puts away its sun glasses and drops it's bag of luggage, crushing 2 giants. The tarrasque gets out some sun tan lotion.
<Keith`> let it, do you know how much you could charge the thing in rental of the land its going to be sitting on?

Quote 3195

<Jeramias> Well, in theory, all of my history ranks (maybe I'll change it to something more fitting) will help us keep up on just who wants to kill us ;)

Quote 3196

* Baliadoc thinks he might be the countries religion as a side job. Plenty of Dream spells, lots of illusion stuff :)
<Alcar> side job?!
<Baliadoc> well, i'll mostly be spending my days making lots of magic stuff :)
<Baliadoc> but to keep the populace happy, i'll throw religion at them :)
<Baliadoc> hell, i'll even take knowledge(divine spells) and teach other people to be clerics :)

Quote 3197

* Jeramias wonders if he should take some ranks of Profession (Barstool Philosopher)
* Alcar would kill you horribly
<Alcar> Beds falling on pcs will be nothing. You'll die from the water they use in the beer :)
<Jeramias> YOU suggested it
<Alcar> Jeramias - so?
<Baliadoc> remember, Jer, alcar's smart enough to know that what he says shouldn't be listened to :)
<Alcar> Right!
<Alcar> That almost made a kind of sense :p
<Baliadoc> like the rest of us with what we say, respectively ;)

Quote 3198

<Jeramias> Yay, I'm done with my character other than equipment, spells, a name, and a background

Quote 3199

<Alcar> "I want to make a fort save for this because fortean events are really odd and this counts as a strange event." :)
<Baliadoc> that's an interesting one ;)
<Alcar> Forteana - Unclassifiable (almost by def.) weirdness; things that should not be, named for madcap researcher Charles Fort. A rain of carp from the sky would be a typical Fortean event.
<Alcar> so it could work :)

Quote 3200

<Jeramias> What kind of bonus would my lenses of bluffing provide?
<Baliadoc> not sure yet. how high would you like?
<Jeramias> I only have 6 ranks, so I'd like a decent bonus.