Quotes 2901 to 3000

Quote 2901

<Alcar> Caltak get a sword.
<Chaos`^> wonder what it is...
* Alcar plans to have fun with this sword :)
<Alcar> its intelligent.
<Caltak> oh dear
<Caltak> that's never good
<Chaos`^> maybe not for the character ;)

Quote 2902

<PsychoSanity> CoSMiC_CaSTaWaY: good job on showing up on time like you said you would. You were almost on time, except you didnt come.

Quote 2903

* Dalener can't wait for the D&D sequel. 'D&D:We were just kidding!'

Quote 2904

<Alcar> The improptu village beside the smoking reamins of Moran's border city consists mostly of a small village surrounded by lots of shacks, buildings and debris that is currently being used as buildings. Most of the people look stunned or confused, having no idea what in the world flew out of the cky at the cities. The word "demon" is being used a lot.
* Mors`^ looks around and looks at the people
<Mors`^> "Wow... What happened here?
<Alcar> <Mari> "The Empire, of course. Testing the locals."
<Mors`^> "I know that! It was a retoricle question."
<Alcar> <Mari> looks really puzzled for a moment then says "Then why did you ask it?"
<Mors`^> "I was talking out loud.."

Quote 2905

<Chaos`^> I find it odd that I am lvl 8 and I have not 1 magic item.. and only 5 gold... =p

Quote 2906

<Red_Death`> "That it does, but not much can be done now"
<norac> "You're right. He's probably not that bad a guy. Hey! I'll even immortalize him in song!"
<Chaos`^> (( you don't even know his name... ))
<norac> ((but I will! oh, I will! muahahahaahah! and such!)

Quote 2907

<Ashi> Sword: "I'll have you know King Arther himself wielded me as Excaliber!"
<Zacharel> "Who?"
<Ashi> Sword: "The king of the Britans! Oh .. right ... wrong world. Well, I was famous then! And can be again!"
<Zacharel> "Well I'm not saying you can't. Don;t be so defensive. You're not a shield, after all."

Quote 2908

<Zacharel> I made a funny ;P
<Ashi> the sword doesn't notice puns :)
<Ashi> Its too dull to
<aslhk> maybe he should sharpen it? =P
<Zacharel> with acid? :)
<aslhk> maybe you shouldn't make it mad =P
<aslhk> it can do anything a sword can do, and a sword could stab you in the eye! =P
<aslhk> repeatedly!
<Zacharel> My Kingdom for a Rust Monster!

Quote 2909

<Zacharel> now he has a girlfriend! j/k :P
<Ashi> you can get married
<Zacharel> ugh
<Zacharel> I think we'll "just be friends" :P
<Ashi> The sword has other plans :)
<Zacharel> I figured :P
<Zacharel> Half-celestial who's goddess mother raped his celestial father, whos girlfriend is really a magical sword... this PC is becoming really interesting :P
<Ashi> Thats one word for it ;)

Quote 2910

<Ashi> Sword: "Oh, you want the fire now? Right this moment?"
<Zacharel> "Sure."
<Ashi> Sword: "Well, I'll need to warm up a bit first. And its not summer anymore, so there is that. And the age of fire has passed ..... the paperwork is bad, too. How about next tuesday?"
<Zacharel> "In that case, nevermind."
<Ashi> Sword: "Monday?" hopefully
<Zacharel> "No, that's ok, I don't really need it."
<Ashi> Sword: "But its GOOD fire! The wholesome kind! Not the recyled, boring stuff! REAL fire! A mans fire! A fire's fire!"
<Zacharel> (( A sword after my own heart. Procrastinator :) ))

Quote 2911

* Ashi swings at the door. There is a cracking sound as cold flares from the blade and up, comvering the bottom quarter of the large stone doors. "Wow."
* Ashi swings again and the frost shatters, taking away a very small amount of stone
<Ashi> "This is ridiculous. Surely this city has secret doors?"
<Gabriel```> "If this city is empty, I'm claiming for myself and then burning it to the ground."
<Zacharel> "We need an elf."
<Ashi> "We want to meet the orcs, not have sex with them Zacharel."
* Zacharel grins "Aren;t they good at finding secret doors and such?"
<Ashi> "They are? Oh." She blushes.

Quote 2912

<Suzuhara_Misaki> <Cherry> *eheheh* Reminds me of the one time we faced off with a rampaging fang dragon in the streets of Procampur... granted my lady Mystra was nae too pleased with what I had done afterwards, but given the circumstances, I think dropping a celestial orca on a dragon in flight was all that stood between us and the death of thousands of innocents.

Quote 2913

<Baliadoc> Yoda is Kermit in about 900 years. that would make him frog.

Quote 2914

<Baliadoc> anyway, little known fact. Not only is Kermit Yoda and Piggy Jabba, but Fozzie is Chewwie and Gonzo is the Twi'Lek that works for Jabba, with lots of makeup and his nose up and behind him, after Piggy beat him one too many times.
<Caltak> this is getting to be too much :)
<Baliadoc> also, Rizzo spent his twilight years as about thirteen of the Ewoks. He did numerous bit parts since each one only got him about a 100 bucks.
<Caltak> oh oh who is Animal? :)
<Ike> The Rancor?
<Ike> On steroids.
<Alcar> George lucas
<Alcar> Wanting more money :)

Quote 2915

<Ike> Yeah. MArk Hammil is the biggest Star Wars fan there is.
<Ike> And if anyone should be ashamed of being in that movie it should be him. Afterall, he hit on his sister.
<Caltak> nah, no one should be ashamed of that. Except Lucas. and not even him :)

Quote 2916

<Alcar> Lance awakens the next morning feeling refreshed and actually alert for the first time in days
<Alcar> You eat, read the paper. (Which mentions nothing new, of course)
* Lance``` gets up, enjoying the feeling of having sentient thought again, and cooks himself a healthy meal, and reads the newspaper. unfortunately, the DM already covered that :)

Quote 2917

<Lance```> i wonder why people don't get that those characters are meant for government type games?
<Lance```> or anti-government, as the case may be.
<Alcar> No idea.
* Alcar said the game was going to be a bit more low key
<Lance```> "Okay, you have some free time. What do you do?" "I get my stuff and go out to a bar." "You get your stuff? All your stuff?" "Yeah." "You're arrested 5 minutes later for illegal possession of heavy weaponry."
<Lance```> "You attack? You really attack? Okay. I won't bother playing out the fight. You hole up somewhere nearby, and after 5 days of heavy fighting, numerous innocents being killed, as well as honest, good soldiers, you're finally killed."

Quote 2918

* Alcar had one pc go insane as a result of killing a pregnant orc once. The feotus (actually a shapechanging npc) followed him around and drove him insane
<London_Intellectual> alc: Thats brilliant!
<ShadowDrakken> that's sick
<ShadowDrakken> effective maybe, but YUCK!

Quote 2919

* Sintaqx had a great answer for one of his fighters when asked what he did
<Sintaqx> "I stick sharp pointy pieces of metal into other people."

Quote 2920

<Rene`-> She can start an orgy, that'll distract them.
<Maranda`-`> thats what she did
<Rene`-> oh I see
<Maranda`-`> just came back to get more fleash

Quote 2921

<Baliadoc> gnomes were made to be broken.

Quote 2922

* Keith` notes the less sex feline got the more people she eat
<Alcar> uh. ok. and?
<Keith`> just something i noticed

Quote 2923

<Ah`m> Rei Jr.? Oh gods.
<Wolfie``> Faline and Rei had a kid, after all. Also stuck in were. Humans are a fairy tale to him.
<Ah`m> is that keith, or cal?
<Wolfie``> 10 years old.
<Wolfie``> Cal.
<Ah`m> sigh. 10 years old. even the courts'll justify his killings this time.

Quote 2924

<Wolfie``> (( "Quick! How many meals do you think the Tarrasque would do us for?" ))
* Rahad`- (( *counts on his fingers* ))
<Gunter_> (( MAke for us or make of us? ))
<Rahad`-> (( damn, I need a calculator ))

Quote 2925

<Gunter_> "You want more than being a cheap whore who does what a dirty old man asks. I want more than being a cheap whore who does what some officer asks."
<Ah`m> "Good to hear."
<Tish`> "cept you would be the officer doing the telling."
<Gunter_> "No matter how high you rise, there is always someone above you. And each step up has you doing worse than the step before."

Quote 2926

<Gunter_> "What is your heart's fondest desire?"
<Tish`> "I want the best closet ever."
<Gunter_> "What would you do to get it?"
* Rahad`- shakes his head and mutters "women" under his breathe :)
<Tish`> "pretty much anything."
<Gunter_> "Would you stirke down a defenseless woman in front of her children?"
<Gunter_> "Cleaving her nearly in half?"
<Gunter_> "Then stabbing her children to death?"
<Tish`> "What did she do to deserve it?"

Quote 2927

<Drifter2> (( Why did the cat cross the road? Cause he darn well wanted to, and being the Emperor of all he surveys, he did. ))

Quote 2928

<Kajour> ok you track it ealsy enought for about 100 years still nothing want to go further?
<Rahad`-> sure, why not? :)
<Drifter2> (( Years???? ))
<Rahad`-> he means yards

Quote 2929

<CoSMiC_CaSTaWaY> i may need so assistance i have never played any modern eath type stuff so i don;t know what the difference is really between it and the normal D&D i been playing
<Alcar> you can buy Coke :)

Quote 2930

<Jeramias> Considering that much of this game takes place in Canada, it seems that requiring knowledge of languages is unfair... Think of how many the average PC would need to know: English, Canadian English, Canadian French, Canadian Gibberish, Ontarion, etc... Not to mention conversion rates! You are, with out a doubt, one of the most evil DMs I've ever encountered!
<AlcarDM> this one is in the us :p
<Jeramias> Oh
<Jeramias> Then you've gotta know English, Ebonics, Southern, Utahn, Pop Slang...
<Jeramias> EVIL!

Quote 2931

<AlcarDM> Officer: "I .. see. Does your mother .. hit you?"
<Rei_Jr> "Huh? *surprised* No."
<AlcarDM> He takes a nervous breath "Do you have brothers and sisters and did she devour them at birth?"
* Rei_Jr is really shocked. "w-what??"
<AlcarDM> Officer: "She didn't?"
<Rei_Jr> "No!"

Quote 2932

<Jeramias> You're about the worst conversationalist when you're DMing a game. Makes me want to join just so that I could get more than an occasional "heh" from you ;) Perhaps I should just let you do your job rather than bugging you. Nah.

Quote 2933

* ArTiMus reaches into his coat and takes out his hidden automatic rilfe
<Alexander_``> (( lol ))
<Alexander_``> (( i think one of us would prolly notice a 'hidden' assault rifle ;b ))

Quote 2934

<Alexander_``> "It always pays to be prepared."
<Rei_Jr> (( except when it costs you money. ))

Quote 2935

<MattJohnson> "I don't suppose you have anything I could use?"
* ArTiMus puts the 4 regular clips and 1 silver clip in the coat pockets
<MattJohnson> "Is that a no?"
<Rei_Jr> (( kill a gun :) then you'll have a ghost gun :P ))
<MattJohnson> ((I have a ghost gun :) I want ghost ammo =P dang it!))
<Rei_Jr> (( kill some bullets then :) ))

Quote 2936

* Alcar also needs a counter to artimus's annoying use of gaseous form whenever trouble springs up ....
<Alcar> The master vamp of the city might just turn him over to the police if something else happens.
<Caltak> Alcar: vacuum cleaner
<Alcar> most police officers don't carry those :p
<Caltak> or a big fan :)
<Caltak> they should :)
<Alcar> As you turn into mist, the rookie pulls out a small dust buster ....
<Caltak> OOOH! I know! Air Fresheners! :P "AHHH! IT BURNS!!!"
<Caltak> Glade Plug-Ins? OH SHIT!
<Caltak> Those air filters that filter out smoke from cigarettes will soon be marked with "Also effective against vampires in mist form" :)

Quote 2937

<337C4Bb4g3> i was gonna play a rogue/sorc
<337C4Bb4g3> but i realized that he would suck so bad by level 20
<Alcar> dont worry. No character ever survives to level 20 :p
<Alcar> hmm..
* Alcar cancels the motivational speaker carreer idea...
<337C4Bb4g3> evil dms aren't allowed to be motivational... well, they are, but not like that

Quote 2938

* Baliadoc really worries when Faline suggests the good cop bad cop idea. Does that mean she eats with silverware or doesn't?

Quote 2939

<337C4Bb4g3> the last 2 characters i played were fucking idiots
<337C4Bb4g3> one was a paladin
<337C4Bb4g3> who loved to rush into combat in a near-suicidal manner
<337C4Bb4g3> and the other was a samurai dude
<337C4Bb4g3> who took on about 40 goblins with daggers because they weren't worthy of his swords
<337C4Bb4g3> when he first got to the 'western' world
<337C4Bb4g3> he charged a group of about 20 archers
<337C4Bb4g3> because they're not supposed to fire until you can close and engage in honorable combat!
<337C4Bb4g3> he was even more suicidal than the paladin

Quote 2940

<337C4Bb4g3> that char was fun to RP
<337C4Bb4g3> but damn
<337C4Bb4g3> when 20 undead orcs are dropping boulders on you
<337C4Bb4g3> and you can teleport up to the top of the cliff and launch fireballs and flame lances at them
<337C4Bb4g3> and you instead pull out your short bow and start shooting at them, even tho they are behind cover
<337C4Bb4g3> you are just being an idiot

Quote 2941

* Alcar considers using metrices while DMing!
<Alcar> could get players confused
<Alcar> DM: "The guard attacks your half orc." Player: "Huh? I'm a human .." DM: "Uh, he thinks you're as ugly as one and has bad eyesight."
<Alcar> or just run the wrong campaign....
<Alcar> and ignore player hints that it is the wrong one
<aslhk> no
<aslhk> playing a game = doing something

Quote 2942

<337C4Bb4g3> in order to use metrics, you would have to be like
<337C4Bb4g3> hold on... i need to make a GARP chart that shows the probabilities of you hitting the orc, and all the possible outcomes of you hitting, missing, or doing anything else
<337C4Bb4g3> then i must draw up a capability maturity model of the orcish community, and analyze the potential impact of the death of this orc
<337C4Bb4g3> just in case you kill him

Quote 2943

<Dungeon_Master_M> (( Cole what is your Familiar? what type of animal?
<CoLE_QuaZDA> (( a eagle ))
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( you are loking to fallow someone right? *Hint* *Hint* ))
<CoLE_QuaZDA> (( he was sent to scout ahead of us ))

Quote 2944

<Koby`> (( I should give Koby a level in sorcerer and a chicken familar.... ))
<CoLE_QuaZDA> (( ohh gawd ))
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( Kentucky Fried ? ))
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( Chicken Familiar, Grant the Spellcaster with the Ability to never go without eggs for breakfast ))

Quote 2945

<Hart```> murphy's laws were all meant for IRC. that's how dicebots came around.

Quote 2946

<Koby`> Those pcs never go looking for treasure. No one in their right mind would go underground killing innocent creatures for coin. There are lots of safer ways to make a living than dungeon explorinfg. Saner too. I think they're all just looking for dominatrixes :p
<Koby`> Well, seriously :) I mean, the world's supply of honest heroes'd dry up fast since they'd all die too soon to reproduce. That leaves the reproducing (horny) ones to explore dungeons. Saying "its a dungeon" *hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge* would give them a reason to :p
<337C4Bb4g3> Koby`: No, those are just the stupid honest heroes
<Koby`> ALL heroes are stupid. Its a prerequisite to being a hero :)

Quote 2947

<337C4Bb4g3> Koby`: So people who are just genuinely nice without being utter morons don't qualify as heroes?
<Koby`> Nah, those are good samaritans :)
<Koby`> Real heroes grow out of that or die :p
<337C4Bb4g3> apparently north korea has a different definition of hero
<Koby`> A sane person would say "underground. Evil. Nasty." *vivid images* "Ah!" and not go under. Real heroes are blessed with no imagination :p
<337C4Bb4g3> "Last week, the country named a 15-ton pneumatic hammer as a national hero for "producing many parts necessary for railway transportation and the industrialization of the country," according to state-run media"
<Koby`> well, thats real life. Not d&d :p
<337C4Bb4g3> damn
<337C4Bb4g3> i was gonna make my next character a 15-ton pneumatic hammer!
<Jeramias> Man, that would just make my toaster PC look lame

Quote 2948

<Dungeon_Master_M> Cole... save me some time and Kill yourself :P
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( Cole please fight yourself ))

Quote 2949

<Hart```> "If you take avoiding the point as a sign of wisdom, then you must know a lot of wise people."

Quote 2950

* Natalia` needs to go to bed. work in 4.5 hours
<Elandra`> (do you ever sleep?)
<Koby`> (( lol ))
<Natalia`> ((sometimes))

Quote 2951

<Elandra`> i'm a normal "ninja" i'm probubly as sain as that groops going to get
<Koby`> Elandra - You mean other than the compulsion to wear black pyjamas? :)
<Elandra`> other then that, besides only used when needing to realy sneak around and not be spotted

Quote 2952

<Chaos`^> Who runs around with 1 hp? =p

Quote 2953

<FatLawyer1`^> "If you have an allaby then you have nothing to worry about, just agree to see the damned cop!"
* ArTiMus sayz "look just get me out of here i need to check my blood wine"
<FatLawyer1`^> "Fuck the blood wine, you're in real trouble here, they think you're guilty, regardless of your aliby!"
<ArTiMus> (( fuck the blood wine how the hell do you think you get paid ))
<FatLawyer1`^> (( I get paid by the hour >=))

Quote 2954

<Alexander\\\> Perhaps Mr. Johnson and I should go investigate the school, and see if we can't find what has become of Mr. Jenkings
<MattJohnson> "Well, I don't see how it could hurt. Why don't you give them a call and tell them that you may be interested in having your child enrolled."
<Alexander\\\> A fine idea.
* Alexander\\\ heads out to his car.
* MattJohnson dematerializes and heads out to the school.
* ArTiMus sayz "alexander wait up i will accompanmy you but i need to go change first"
<MattJohnson> "Artimus, a gay couple is not exactly the best way to avoid attracting attention to ourselves, which is probably something we don't want to do."

Quote 2955

* ArTiMus goes and changes
<AlcarDM> ArTiMus does that without dying or getting arrested :)
<Rei_Jr> (( are you sure? :P ))
<Clyde> (public nudity is a crime you know)

Quote 2956

* Alexander\\\ gets out of the car and starts walking towards the front office (keeping an eye out for anything suspicious).
<Alexander\\\> (( You know, like dead bodies, scary supernatural occurances, guys walking around with assault rifles in their jackets, stuff like that. ))
* MattJohnson also heads to the front office.
<Rei_Jr> (( any undead insurance salesmen? ))
<Kandi`^> (( undead life insurance salesmen? ))
<Alexander\\\> (( Nope, I am a business consultant ))

Quote 2957

<Kandi`^> "Now.. Picture yourself as a human."
<AlcarDM> (( "Why would I want to be that?!" ))
<AlcarDM> (( "They're icky!" ))
<Rei_Jr> (( damn it ALcar I was about to say that :P ))
<Rei_Jr> "ok.." *reluctantly*
* Rei_Jr seems to, for a while even, but absolutely nothing happens.

Quote 2958

<Kandi`^> "Now.. relax with that image in your head and close your eyes, and think about that image.. and only that image.."
<Kandi`^> (( don't get ahead of yourself ))
<Rei_Jr> (( do you seriously expect me to be able to jus tthink about one thing for an extended period of time? :P ))
<Kandi`^> (( yes ))
<Rei_Jr> (( wow, you don;t know kids :P ))

Quote 2959

<AlcarDM> She hands you a small folder with projected budgets also "Woodbrige Elementary is very committed to the students. When the government cut funding, we decided to continue with it ourselvces, and have some very impressive backers."
<Alexander\\\> (( if so, I pull the assault rifle out of my jacket... er... wait, thought I was someone else, never mind ))
<Alexander\\\> (( one sec ))
<AlcarDM> (( lol ))
<AlcarDM> Mara: "Woodbrige is a very nice, secluded school to raise your child in. When the Elder Gods rise from the oceans and the world goes mad, Woodbridge students wil be trained to deal with the horrors and ensuing carnage. Furthermore, our school is very well respected world wide and many colleges vie to choose our students. When Dread Cthulhu rises, we wont HAVE a budget problem anymore!"
<AlcarDM> j/k :)

Quote 2960

<AlcarDM> You see news footage of the local harbour. A car - Matt recognises it - driving over ther pier into the ocean while beign shot at by ArTiMus
<AlcarDM> ArTiMus jumps in with his gun after the sinking car
<MattJohnson> "Wonderful. That was the polymorph's car."
<MattJohnson> "At least he's firing at the right person."
<MattJohnson> ((Hey! His lawyer will love this! This is awesome for the temporary insanity plea!))
<ArTiMus> (( hopefully i cannot get arested for shooting at a non human ))
<AlcarDM> (( you have no proof its NOT a human ))
<Baliadoc> ((actually, if you prove it's not a human, you still don't have the right to bear fully automatic weapons :))

Quote 2961

<ArTiMus> well another char bites the dust
<AlcarDM> Nope. Not even dust was left. distingrate is evil :)
<ArTiMus> why did you have to distingrate me

Quote 2962

<Nicolai> ((well, depending on who set it up, it'd make things a lot more difficult to copy the drives. I was thinking they were using like Death to Intruders OS or something, and that i'd be turned into a bunny for looking at it.))

Quote 2963

* Alcar hopes people had fun :)
<Baliadoc> hell, i was in for like 15 minutes, and i came out with one of the most popular restaurants in the world :)
<Baliadoc> i'm happy :)

Quote 2964

<Baliadoc> you're evil? i bought a restaurant three seconds after the owner died ;)

Quote 2965

* aslhk pictures a pacifist ghost dressed in cammies and armed with a rifle and a pistol
<aslhk> interesting to say the least =P
<Alcar> "Make love, not war." Ghost shoves its hand with a flower in it through your chest. "oops."
<Baliadoc> sounds about right

Quote 2966

<aslhk> I was thinking of becoming Christian *laugh*
<aslhk> preaching to the undead
<Alcar> "What heaven?! We're dead!"
<aslhk> well, he'd believe that they'd been given a second chance
<aslhk> and that the reason clerics can turn undead is that undead are closer to god
<aslhk> and can be affected by divine powers

Quote 2967

<aslhk> Just last week I played an igneous rock with a basaltic background! he got turned into a metamorphic rock, though, when he fell into a crevice!

Quote 2968

* Maranda`-`- comes down the stairs streaches a bit then joins the others at a tabble, not even noticing her new found bat like wings but for some reson seems all that more attractive then the night befor
<AlcarDM> <Mari> 'Just Arko.... " looks over at Maranda. "Interesting night?"
* Maranda`-`- grins and nods
<AlcarDM> A few villagers stare in shock. The innkeeper drops a tray of drinks and says "What in the?!"
<Maranda`-`-> "Don't tell me, i'm glowing?" *looks at her self a bit worried*
<AlcarDM> <Mari> "I think becoming pregnant is the least of your problems right now."

Quote 2969

<AlcarDM> The crowd looks puzzled now. A few of them recall the orgy yesterday and realise Maranda *must* be demonic. The few who didn't violate their sexualities during it decide that demonic isn't that bad :)
<AlcarDM> the others really don't want it repeated
<Maranda`-`-> (shame is such a powerfull tool)

Quote 2970

<Jeramias> it would kind of make sense for lightning to have fly, but I don't know. I'll just put lots of points into jump so that I can jump off buildings and make it look like someone is getting struck by lightning
<AlcarDM> lol
<AlcarDM> fly works :)

Quote 2971

<Mors`^> "I need someone to come up with something creative as my Crest.."
<AlcarDM> <Mari> "A scythe?"
<Mors`^> "I said Creative."
<AlcarDM> <Mari> "3 bunny rabbits, two ostriches and 4 lemmies en garde with a floral pattern. For the upper left."
<Adanine> (( lol , now that's ridiculous ))
<Mors`^> "Creative, yet simple... and more masculene.. they'll think I'm little bo-peep."

Quote 2972

* Maranda`-` grabs the one who shot her and goes to kneeing him in the groin
<Sparkie> Maranda`-` 1d20+8: 11
<Sparkie> Maranda`-` 1d20+5: 13
<Maranda`-`> (or mabie not)
<AlcarDM> The trooper fights back and is good enough to avoid getting hurt in his precious :p

Quote 2973

* durgan looks for blasters and grenades, to fill his bag with =P
<AlcarDM> Maranda cleans herself off wirth some snow and durgan recovers 7 blasters and 5 grenades.
<Mercer```> "I'm going to wait here and see if a rescue squad comes. I don't want them getting near the new town."
<Mercer```> "Can I have one of those grenades, durgan?"
<durgan> "Sure! Which ones are grenades?"
<Adanine> (( Try them out, see which ones explode ))

Quote 2974

<durgan> "How do these things work, anyway?"
<Mercer```> "You pull this pin, then I think you have around 5 seconds to get rid of it."
* Mercer``` demonstrates, without actually doing anything
<AlcarDM> (( wow. Thats.... some demonstration. TQM, anyone? :) ))
<durgan> ((You should put that in the quotes file =P))

Quote 2975

<Dalener> "As you walk through the dungeon, Genesis 5:12 attacks you! Roll initiatve!"

Quote 2976

<337C4Bb4g3> I could always play a mountain range, and crush cc
<337C4Bb4g3> if i felt like being vindicative
<337C4Bb4g3> "See how you like playing GRAVEL!"
<Alcar> cc: I would have had 3400 exp if I hadnt been turned into GRAVOL

Quote 2977

<Shadow```> (( how long will it take to get where i'm going, and land? ))
<Shadow```> (( a WEEK?! ))
<Chaos`^> that's.. if your FTL engine is working
<Chaos`^> yes, it's on another part of the galaxy
<Shadow```> (( erm... so like, I'm assuming that there's a ton of food on this ship ))
<Chaos`^> What is this food you speak of?

Quote 2978

<Chaos`^> (( your character doesn't eat ))
<Shadow```> (( and as a non-total moron, he wouldn't put himself in a situation where he is gonna starve to death ))
<Shadow```> (( ya he does ;b ))
<Shadow```> (( he eats A LOT ))
<Shadow```> (( a week without food would very likely kill him ))
<Shadow```> (( and he would be in NO condition to land ))
<Chaos`^> (( Huh.. to bad.. ))
<Shadow```> (( what do you mean, too bad? ))
<Shadow```> (( did I somehow end up playing character with a 140 IQ and artimus brain? ))

Quote 2979

<Alcar> ok. The bullet strikes the shed with a clang and the sounds inside stop. The waiter comes out, his eyes cold as ice. "Who is there?" his voice seems to ring over the entire park unnaturally loud
<Alcar> Inside the shed, you can hear ronald snaffer sobbing
<MattJohnson> one moment as I ponder evil things to do =P
<MattJohnson> ((any suggestions? *laugh*))
<Adanine> (( Aim the gun at the waiter ))
<MattJohnson> ((i'm currently a pacifist =P))
<337C4Bb4g3> (( snipe him! ))
<337C4Bb4g3> (( in the head! ))
<Adanine> (( In the testicles makes good results ))

Quote 2980

<Alcar> Mr. Valentine goes back to writing out cheques for the people Artimus ticked off :)
<Alexander```> (( Mental note to self: send valentine a bottle of bloodwine! ))
<MattJohnson> ((evil! hahahah!))

Quote 2981

<MattJohnson> "Where there is life, there is hope."
<MattJohnson> ((sermon time!))
<Alexander```> (( this coming from a group of 3 undead dudes ))
<MattJohnson> ((I know ;))
<Alcar> Ronald blinks, then says "He took it. All the warmth. Gone bye bye. Lost ... so cold .... "
<MattJohnson> "Often," *looks at himself deprecatingly* "where there is not life, there is hope."

Quote 2982

<aslhk> Why do you know so much about guns? Are you a criminal?
<MyBrains> no, I just like guns
<aslhk> hah!
<aslhk> that's what i'd say too!

Quote 2983

<aslhk> Tom Clacy is an evil, evil man, that prides himself on his writings on death and suffering!
* Leech_Wilcomes thinks thoes are good traits for a gm

Quote 2984

<Rahad`> (( If underwear could talk... people would stop wearing any :) ))
<Keith`> wolfies underware starts talking to him, but he doesn't realize its only his sword
<Wolfie``> (( I truly hope your joking :p ))
<Keith`> its saying soemthing about an exesive amount of body hair and that he needs to shave, it says his sword could shave/skin a cat rather nicely
<Keith`> at this point wolfie realizes whats going on
* Wolfie`` blinks and looks at his sword for a long moment. "All right, that was just freaky. Now stop it!"

Quote 2985

* Rahad` looks at Wolfie``. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't like that sword all that much either, right? At least it's rather annoying, isn't it?"
<Wolfie``> "Very. The talking underwear was the last straw."

Quote 2986

<Gunter_> "If I might bring something else to your attention...?"
<Gunter_> "Please remember the terms of my employment."
<Rahad`> "Oh um.. remind me?"

Quote 2987

<AlcarDM> Emily frowns, her expression grim. "There is always a way out of problems .. I can't believe he would deal with Satan .. " she takes a deep breath. "What .. kind of twisted acts, sir?"
<MattJohnson> "The being he was dealing with has the ability to change age and shape. In addition, it could change reality to suit it. I'll leave the rest to your imagination."
<AlcarDM> Emily. "Oh. Oh, my." Her eyes widen. After a bit of thinking that would put most Harlequin Romance writers to shame, she says: "Why'd he back out of it?"
<Alexander```> (( tell her it was because of her! ))
<MattJohnson> "He loves you, and he knew what he was doing was wrong."
<MattJohnson> "He just needed an opportunity to get out."

Quote 2988

<AlcarDM> Emily looks at Matt "After .. the news yesterday, I did some checking. Your boss has done Bounty work. Your organisation can do it legally. I would pay - and well - for them to hurt that .. thing, to kill it!"
<Alexander```> (( IN YOUR DREAMS LADY!!!!!!!!! ))

Quote 2989

* Scullery_Boy_Kant flips through the Hero Handbook some more, "Chapter 14.. What To Do When Things Go Wrong.. hmm..."
<Dragon_Alcar> Scullery_Boy_Kant, Refer th chapter 2: "Scream Battle Cry And Charge."
<Dragon_Alcar> Also chapter one: "Draw Your Weapon First."
<Scullery_Boy_Kant> Chapter 3: Picking a Battle Cry
<337C4Bb4g3> Chapter 1 Intro: (Large bright red letters) DO NOT HOLD THE SWORD BY THE POINTY END!

Quote 2990

<Keith`> 16d10+112
<Sparkie> Keith` 16d10+112: 203
<aslhk> wow
<aslhk> that's something you don't want to see the dm roll

Quote 2991

<JordanThorn> Question, you have a player who insists on playing a Drow, and plans on trying to buy equipment in the nearest, above ground village, how many ways can you think of to kill him?

Quote 2992

<Keith`> chickens are to smart to be kender

Quote 2993

<Selnavinus> ((dude, I bet that if we kill him, we could scrounge up enough money for a speak with dead! =P))

Quote 2994

* Cedric_Quezada reaches into his backpack and pulls out a 50' cord of silk rope, then binds Corbin's wrists with it.

Quote 2995

<* Cedric_Quezada takes a break fr> By the way. My name is Cedric."
<Selnavinus> "And I am Selnavinus. The Black."
<Selnavinus> "You may have heard of me?" *hopefully*

Quote 2996

* Baliadoc would play a Chimera, just to be able to chat with himself :)
<Baliadoc> and have a mediator for heated arguments ;)
<Caltak> be a hydra

Quote 2997

* ** Sparkie is now known as SparkieBDSM
* Rei-the-not-so-WT-WT shudders
<SparkieBDSM> No, this makes too much sense
* ** SparkieBDSM is now known as Sparkie
<Rei-the-not-so-WT-WT> BDSM=BigDiceSmallMandolin ???
<Rei_Jr> (( BigDiceSmallMind :) ))

Quote 2998

<AlcarDM> (( Meanwhile, some NPCs begin planning now to make a wall around *this* city j/k ))
<Rei_Jr> (( they can put a huge plastic dome and giant dice in the middle of the city! We'd have Pop-o-matic Trouble! ;P ))
<Rei`Sr> (thats just evil caltak)
<Baliadoc> ((can we draw straws to see which one of us gets to slap him? :))
<Rei`Sr> (sure)

Quote 2999

<Rei`Sr> "A strong ware should beable to open the gate i guard."
<Rei`Sr> "It would seal again, shortly after there passing threw the gate as they leave the area"
<AlcarDM> <Adam> "Is it two way?"
<Rei`Sr> "Would think so but why would a ware want to come back from a place where they can live in peace?"
<Rei_Jr> (( it doesnt have pizza :) ))
<AlcarDM> <Adam> "For her son?"

Quote 3000

<Dungeon_Master_M> The Sun doesn't kill undead if the DM knows what he is doing
<Jeramias> The DM is supposed to know what he is doing?
<Jeramias> That explains everything!